Vidya Balan doesn’t belong to the so-called Bollywood brand of pedigree. Yet she has made it to the A-list of actors in a rather short time, delivering commercial hits with her power-packed performances. Be it her disciplined childhood, rigorous Carnatic music practice, a Masters in Sociology, a Balaji TV serial, popular music videos or ad films, she has used each layer of experience to enrich her on-screen persona. Sharing a coffee afternoon with Namaskaar Editor-in-Chief Chandan Mitra, the thinking actor shows off her analytical mind, one that is best placed to usher in a new wave in the industry. In between all the serious stuff, she also lets her hair down –

Q. You are one of those actresses who has chosen the performance-oriented route to success. Did you always want to become a good actress?

A. Always. I can’t think of anything else that I wanted to be.

Q. Why?

A. I became a huge fan of Madhuri Dixit while in school. I loved her in the Ek do teen song so much that I decided to be an actress since then. She inspired me enough to take a keen interest in films as did Shabana Azmi, whose fan I still am. Woh keeda jo hai wo tabhi se laga aur aaj bhi hai (I was struck by the acting bug since then and it’s still wriggling inside me). But I am glad of the opportunities that came my way at the right time.

Q. You began with modelling, did you not?

A. That was much later. After school, I did a theatre workshop with Prithvi. While in college, I responded to an ad on auditions for a television serial about campus life. I got some studio shots of myself, my sister wrote the bio-data and we sent in my application. Of the 900 entries, 150 were shortlisted and 30 people were chosen. I was one of them. I shot for eight months but the serial was never aired because it was made for a channel that didn’t happen. Raman Kapoor and Vinta Nanda were the producers and they recommended a whole lot of us who worked on the failed project to Ekta Kapoor, who was talent-scouting for a daily soap. That’s how I landed a role in Hum Paanch, which became extremely popular. But I quit after a year because of attendance issues in college; I was even blacklisted. Then I did another TV media workshop with one Nandu Bhanekar whose sister had an ad production house. They were looking for a new face, I tested with 40 known models, got selected and went on to do 80-odd ads. I treated them like feature films, gave them my all and enjoyed being in front of the camera. In between, I worked with dada (Pradeep Sarkar) and did a couple of music videos. It was during my first music video shoot with him that he told me of his desire to cast me in his maiden film. It was quite unbelievable. But he made Parineeta and he made it with me. I guess when you want something real bad, the world conspires to make it happen.

Q. Parineeta was your first Hindi film. Why did you wait so long when you had already done TV and regional films?

A. I don’t come from a film background, so I didn’t know when the big break would happen. Besides, my parents were sceptical about the ways of the film industry and weren’t overtly encouraging. I tried my hand at south Indian cinema in between college. My first film was in Malayalam. I remember how my parents and sister accompanied me to meet the director who was a very decent man. They went back assured of the fact that no matter what the role was, it was up to me how I interpreted it. They had confidence in my upbringing.

In the meantime, I began perfecting my Hindi which has always been my favourite language. I trained with theatre veteran Satyadev Dubey, who gave me a very tough passage to read and said, “I will work on you only if you deliver the passage well.”

I started subscribing to the Navbharat Times and sought help from my school Hindi teacher.

Q. Have you been as methodical and choosy about your roles?

I think I have tried to choose the best within the offers I have got. I try to do things that are different from the kind of work I have already done.

Q. Even in Guru?

A. Yes, definitely. I think Guru was one of the most challenging roles that I’ve ever had. Unfortunately, what you see in the film is not what was meant to have been. But you live and learn. The experience of working with Mani Ratnam is invaluable. He went out of his way to prepare me for the role of a patient suffering from multiple sclerosis. He gave me research matter and sent over a wheelchair for practice so that the condition seemed a part of my being on screen. I got some DVDs from the US on the subject and met patients. How does all this help? Take that one scene when Madhavan’s character, Shyam, proposes to me and I break down and say dhyan nahi deti to bistar geela ho jata hai. No amount of imagination helps in understanding that pain. It was a role that I had prepared tremendously for and I am still standing by the fact that I am proud of Guru. Proud because it was a complex role.

Q. Most satisfying role apart from Parineeta?

A. Has to be Bhool Bhulaiyaa, a fantastic experience. Because I did not know whether I had it in me to lose myself, get mad and be possessed. I had watched Shovana’s performance in the Malayalam version years ago. But Priyan sir (Priyadarshan) told me not to watch the film or prepare for it. “You come to the set and follow my instructions.” And that is exactly what I did. I only prepared for the dance sequence because I am not a trained dancer. I had to have that ease and grace and at the same time be someone who had lost her bearings, somewhat like tandaav. I rehearsed for hours. In between shots, I would rehearse, perspire, touch up and then resume. Basically, the full extent of the role is only realised in the last half-hour. I used to tell Priyan sir that I wasn’t doing much and he would reason, “I don’t want you to do anything. I want you to be inconspicuous so that people don’t suspect you.”

Playing Manjulika has been one of the most satisfying experiences because I could surprise myself. I have got good responses from Parineeta and Munnabhai but I think the reaction to Bhool Bhulaiyaa has been phenomenal. Wherever I go, from waiters at restaurants, to drivers, to hotel staff, to stewards on airplanes to people I meet at functions, they all compliment me. And children are simply petrified thinking about Manjulika. As for me, I now enjoy dancing and am continuing with my Bharatnatyam classes.

Q. Do you fear getting typecast in character-oriented roles? Or the fact that you may drift away from the mainstream?

A. Not at all. In Kismat Konnection, Aziz Mirza’s film, I have played a very light-hearted, feel-fresh, romantic character. Though I love complex roles, by God’s grace I have managed to strike a certain balance.

Q. What is your aspiration? Do you want to be remembered as the greatest actress or the most successful? There is a conflict between the two.

A. I am greedy and want both. Who doesn’t want to be a good actress and draw in the crowds too? If I am able to bridge the gap somehow, I’ll consider myself successful.

Q. How close would you say you are to getting there?

A. I still have a long way to go. There is no end to quenching your thirst, your quest as an actor or as an artiste. You may think this is the best piece you have written and after two weeks may come up with something even better. I don’t have aspirations like 5 saal me itna karna hai ya 10 saal me itna karna hai. I just go with the flow of time.

Q. How much does a director shape your performance?

A. It is not a question of how much. A director completely shapes your performance. And I have been lucky to get some of the best in the industry. They narrate a role to you, you perceive it your way but then they give a completely different spin, interpret it in a way you have never imagined.

Directors like Mani Ratnam make you feel the moment instantly. I don’t know how he does it but it is pure magic. He just pushes you to the point where you feel the situation. Dada (Pradeep Sarkar) enacts the entire sequence. Not that he’d expect you to impersonate him but he’d help you visualise the performance and hope you will take it from there. During Parineeta, he would say that I would have to know Shekhar’s (Saif’s) room so well that I could almost walk into it blindfolded. I hung around the sets. That was the kind of preparation involved.

Raju Hirani will tell you what to do, sit back and give you the leads. There is Vidhu Vinod Chopra, who will let you do the mise-en-scene literally and then decide where to put the camera; he gives you that much liberty. And Rajkumar Santoshi will read the scene again and again till you internalise the feeling. He takes you to the sets at the right time, when the story strikes a chord in you. Aziz uncle will sit and read the scene with you and suddenly give an example. You won’t even realise how the example is connected to the scene.

Priyadarshan is a man of few words. He just says, “Follow my instructions completely.” For the whole of Bhool Bhulaiyaa, he let me be. His only detailed instruction came at the end. “I want bestiality, I want you to be like an animal. I want your teeth clenched, neck hanging out, I want your shoulders pulled back, I want you to walk around like a monster. And I want a guttural sound.” Then he would leave. Of course, the script was so well written that you just had to embellish it.

I’m not saying that an actor does not contribute to a good performance but it is 50-50. With great directors, it’s 60 per cent vision and 40 per cent actor’s skills. And I have worked with some of the best.

Q. Apart from the ones who have already given you a chance, which other director would you like to work with?

A. Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

Q. Despite Saawariya?

A. Yes, of course. One unsuccessful film does not make a bad director. He will always be Sanjay Leela Bhansali. How can we forget the man who gave us Khamoshi, Devdas … and what moments in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam! I also like Rituporno Ghosh for the way he fleshes out his women characters. My favourite is his lesser known work called Ashukh. I have since then watched all his films except Dosar. I wish Gulzar saab had made a film again and taken me.

Q. But he says he won’t make any more films?

A. Ya, I am so sad about it. I would love to be directed by him. I love Ijaazat, his earlier films like Parichay, Kinara, Namkeen, Aandhi and, of course, Maachis. Then I would love to work with Imtiaz Ali and do a repeat act for all my directors so far. Also Ram Gopal Varma. I love Sarkar. And I actually like Mahesh Bhatt. I wouldn’t miss Karan Johar because of the way he beautifully presents his heroines.

Q. Why did you turn down Khoya Khoya Chand?

A. I think it was a great role but I couldn’t connect with it. So when I asked Sudhir Mishra to explain the character, he thought I was questioning him as a filmmaker. Questioning doesn’t mean you are mistrusting the person; it just helps me form the character in my head, gives me clarity.

Kundan Shah gave me a lovely compliment a couple of days ago. He said of Parineeta, “You are an actor who needs space. You have to make choices that afford you that space. I would say you are an actor of pauses.” Dada would take us through the storyboard, our art, our elevations on the sets so that we knew our space completely.

Q. What else do you do apart from acting or watching movies?

A. Listening to music. Especially the RD Burman, Kishore Kumar, Gulzar saab variety. I am a student of classical music, having done the equivalent of BA in Carnatic music and growing up in a house where my mother would play a Carnatic CD every morning while she cooked breakfast. But I do not aim to be a singer. As a family, we attended concerts. At St Xavier’s College, Mumbai, I took up Hindustani classical as part of its Indian music group. For a meagre Rs 30, you could pick up any CD or tape and go into a listening room. They had recordings of the rarest concerts. Every January, they have their IMG concert which goes on into the night. I attended this year. I also listen to fusion music of MIDIval Punditz, Indian Ocean, Karsh Kale and Tavleen Singh. I travel a lot, so am always listening to music.

Q. Why did you do Sociology? What did you have in mind?

A. I am a people’s person. I like to chat with people, know them better. I would take a local train to college, talk to my co-passengers, get to know their life histories. Sociology teaches you about various kinds of communities and makes you more accepting. You stop being judgmental. What is right for you may not be right for someone else. And as an actor, you have to be able to empathise with the situation of your character, no matter how unbelievable. I have completed my Masters in Sociology despite my acting schedule. I enjoy reading too, though have been slackening up lately. But there was a point where I had to read before I went to sleep. I love Paulo Coelho. He makes a point without hammering it into your head. And if somebody is making a film on his Eleven Minutes, I would truly love to do it.

Q. Given that a woman actor’s scope has already expanded, do you feel privileged to be in the industry at the right time?

A. Undoubtedly. Even within the commercial format, there’s much to do. For example, Life In A … Metro was a story of women you see around you. In Heyy Babyy, for example, I used to have fights with Sajid because it was largely a boys’ film and I argued that a woman who was fighting for her child could not be flaky. She had a certain perspective. She knew she could live life on her own terms with the child if she had to.

Q. Do you never want to be in the numbers game, officially or unofficially?

A. I seriously think you cannot put numbers to artistes. For example, you can’t say that Pandit Bhimsen Joshi is number one and Pandit Jasraj is so and so. How can you say that? Your assessment may be subjective but they are two different artistes. I think comparisons are ridiculous.

Q. But this competition, healthy or unhealthy, is creeping in everywhere. Won’t it affect you?

A. It depends on how you are marketed and promoted and how much newsprint is dedicated to you.

Q. Will you ever make a film some day considering that you analyse your roles so perfectly? Seems you have a cinematic vision.

A. I am petrified of being a director. I watch films like a viewer or an actor. I am unable to see it from the other side of the lens. There are some actors like Saif or Shahid who are completely clued in. They know angles, frames and stuff about the art of film-making. I am not like that. I have always wanted to go abroad and do a film-making course but that is to understand films better and use the knowledge to improve my acting skills. Some people tell me that I will probably be a writer, that I have all the makings of one. But I think it would be foolish. I love talking instead, that too about films. I can go on and on.